I’m sitting in my room because I woke up early and tried to learn a song on the ukulele but got frustrated and started having chest and arm pains, so I tried cleaning my room and got halfway done when my psychotic ex-boyfriend texted me, so I ended up sitting in bed texting him for an hour, at which point I started looking at cool hairstyles on Pintrest and decided to go out and get hair dye but remembered I’d been having chest pains earlier, so I just took a shower instead.
I’m sitting in my room because I really need to call work so that they can put me on the schedule but I’m too anxious because what if they want me to come in tonight? I’m not ready for that, but then again I never will be unless I go but also I need to take off Friday and Sunday and what if I get put on the schedule and I have to work those days? And then I’ll have to tell them I can’t and then they’ll be mad and think again about having hired me. And I also really, really need the money.
I’m sitting in my room even though my mom and brother are home because although my mom and I are fairly close I can’t explain to her that my family is simply doomed, that her and my father are growing old and that they’re broke and sad and that my sister self-harms and hates herself even though we all think she’s the most beautiful person in the world and that my brother who has overcome so much has been secretly battling depression and that that is the reason both him and I dropped out of college.
I’m sitting in my room because I texted pretty much all of my friends to hang out yesterday and none of them (besides Jack) could and some never even answered my texts which makes me wonder, Are we even really friends? And I can’t text those same people today because that would be annoying and needy of me but I am really having not a great day, but none of my friends have texted me to hang out today either so I guess I’m just stuck sitting alone all day or maybe for the rest of my life.
I’m sitting in my room because come September I really am only going to have maybe 2 people to hang out with, and I’m a lot worse at making friends than you think, and I know I’ll need my friends more than ever then but they won’t be around and there’s really nothing anyone can do about this and I’m so SICK of being told to find a hobby because how the fuck can I stay focused on knitting or crafting or my ukulele when I’m 21 and a complete wreck to the point where everything makes me anxious or insecure in some way shape or form and it’s been like this for years and at this point I don’t know what else to do.
@4 months ago with 2 notes
@5 months ago with 10 notes
'freedom' is not feeling guilty about it.
'growing up' is a migraine made worse
by cheap wine somewhere between
asking about someone and realizing
they’re no longer your responsibility.
ZINES [ x ]
CHAPBOOKS [ x ]
@5 months ago with 5 notes
#urbandecay #makeup #motd #electricpalette
Feelin’ blue on this rainy day 🐳💙☔🌀🏊 #motd #makeup #urbandecay #electricpalette